God speaks

have you ever felt God speak to you? I know I have. He has spoken at all different times and seasons in my life. most of the times it has been when i have been doubting some aspect of my overall existence (yes, yes, those awful "what am i doing here" questions we sometimes dread). my story has been full of these questions (if you know me at all, you know this about me). i ask a lot of questions.

it is on these days that i desperately need a gentle reminder that "you're o.k."

last year, I carried around a planner as every type A college student does. i wrote my appointments, homework, reminders, work schedule and shopping lists in this planner. i relished writing in this planner...it gave me great satisfaction to write in this planner.

dorky? - maybe.
totally me? - yes.

can God use a planner to teach me something? - yes.

on days when the darkness seemed to loom at my front door, my daily planner helped me to look at the day without sudden panic. do a devotion...check. go to class...check. milk, bread, almond butter, spinach, turkey, and cheese...check.

one particularly hard day i wrote myself a note - "remember how much Jesus loves you"

a little reminder about a big idea.

as the day went forward, i found myself taking a deep breath at these reminders and i could drink in the rest of the day with less stress and more perspective. it was at these times when i could just feel God's gentleness with me and around me.

one day when i was particularly down, i was in chapel and my mind was spinning with everything needing to be done and completely exhausted with the overarching awful thought that "you are not strong enough to do it all." though true, as i sat down to pray for focus and perspective, God spoke. and this is what He said:

"You will never fully be in the dark. Even at night, I have lit up the sky with stars and the moon. You may hide from me, but I am still with you. I am the light of the world, in me there is no darkness. In the darkness of your hiding place, I am there too. The darkness may seem like it is going to strangle you, but my light will shine there too if you cry out to me. I am your hiding place. In me you will find peace and rest. You can trust me my daughter."

God will gently remind us of all things true of himself. just allow space for it. plan it if you must. it is worth it.

be reminded of the gentle (yet powerful) truth that God's got you. He's got me. He's got the world. nothing takes Him by surprise.